That day, when santa came over, he sat in front of the my house’s mailbox.

He was bullying me into letting him in the porch, like, threatening not to let me drink the slurpy he bought if i dont let him in.

Then he talked to april, cos her grave was just beneath the mango tree. He was talking to her, wanting her to side him instead of me, that kind of thing.

Out of the blue, a dried branch fell from the tree and hit him on the shoulders.

Like, what?? Dried branches don’t just fall out of the tree like that, I mean, maybe they do, but at that moment, at that spot??

What a coincidence eh?

So I said to him, see, she’s helping me.

I mean, wow. It’s really cool. Usually if someone else tells me about the supernatural stuff, I would just shrug them off, cos I’m cynical to these type of things.

But when it happens to me, hahaha, I want to believe it’s her.

You know, I want to believe that at least a part of her is still around, that she hasn’t left me completely.

Yes, I want to believe that. I’d hold on to this little piece of coincidence.

Regardless of what other people think.

I really miss her a lot.

At normal times I seem pretty ok. I laugh, I talk, I do the usual stuff that I do.

You would’ve thought nothing have happened.

But when I’m alone, when I sit at my usual spot at the dining table, I’d look to my right and remember.

I’d remember how she always put her front paws on my chair and lean her head against my body when I scratched her neck.

That’s when I feel it.

That terrrible feeling of knowing I’d never get the chance to do that anymore.

When I come down the stairs and look out the window to the porch, I’d remember.

Id remember how she’d come to the window at the slightest sound of my footsteps, and

her tail wags non-stop.

When I am in the kitchen, I’d remember.

I’d remember how she’d sit with her tail wagging furiously, to beg for food.

And her eyes.

She talks with her eyes. Those big brown eyes that I loved so much.

Now, there’s an unusual silence in the house. It’s hard to get used to this silence.

I miss her so much.

Death is the veil which those who live call life:
They sleep, and it is lifted.
Percy Blysshe Shelley

Someone very dear to me died today.

She was with me for 1year and 2months.

I’ll never forget the way she jumps when she’s excited.

Or the way she runs like a wind in our garden.

The way she licked my toes to show that she cared.

The way she would come right away if I called her name. Unless if there’s food somewhere that attracted her attention.

The way she sat down quietly by my side when I’m busy doing my work in the dining room.

The way she would lie down when she wants me to caress her.

The way she would lick her paws when they itch.

The way her tail curves to the left side of her body.

The way she would sit with her legs folded to one side of her body.

The way she would lie as close as possible by my side when I caress her tummy.

The way she begs for food by sitting down.

The way her tail wags furiously.

The way she growled and barked when strangers are around.

The way she barked while backing away when she’s scared but want to protect the house.

The way she doesnt mind when I tease her when she’s eating.

The way she would acknowledge me by wagging her tail when I called her at times when she’s busy.

The way she looks at me with understanding when I talk to her.

The way her brown eyes changes with expression.

The way her head would cock to a side and her left ear would flatten when she doesn’t understand me.

The way she squeezed in behind my legs when I sit on the stairs.

The way her tongue lolled out at the right side of her mouth.

There’s so much so much more.

I actually laughed out loud when my mom told me the news becase I was hoping that she would say, “No la, just kidding.”

Now she’s gone.

I would never have a chance to touch her, hug her, laugh at her antics, play catch with her anymore.

Because she’s gone.

When I got home, I saw her body on the floor, covered with her favourite towel.

I couldn’t bring myself to lift the towel up and look at her, caress her for one last time when my mom asked me to.

I just couldn’t. I don’t want that image to replace the memory I have of her.

When I looked at the towel intensely, I could’ve sworn I saw the rising and falling of her chest. I could have sworn. I wanted so much to believe that there is still hope. That there is still life in her.

When my dad carried her up to be buried, her whole body was so stiff. So stiff.

I couldn’t believe that the once lively, happy friend of mine is now stiff, not moving.

She’s just 1year plus for goodness sake.

I’ll miss her presence forever. I love her so much.

That’s why it hurts so much. That’s why I could feel the void in my heart right now.

April (15 Dec 06 - 11 Jun 08)

Rest in peace, my dear April.