I can’t sleep. My brain is too occupied with questions.
What do I want to achieve in life? What is my passion? How do you know what you want to do?
These questions plagued me since graduation 2 months ago, and I have yet to find answers for them.
It’s so scary, everyday I’m learning that I don’t know a lot of things, everyday I’m learning new skills. To think that I have spent four years in university, I’d have thought I’d know more than that.
But the thing is, I don’t. Yes, I accept that though, but the thought is daunting.. What about all the other things I don’t know about, like politics, economics, sociology, psychology … I finally realise that there is a lot more to learn, in fact there is the entire world to learn (and that’s not including astronomy!). I feel so incompetent when I think about this, because I realise what I know doesn’t even constitute for 0.1% of the things in this world!
And I realise the importance of surrounding myself with like-minded people. My flatmate is the chill type, when she gets back from work, she goes online, watches some drama and calls it a night.. Sometimes I get affected by her chill-ness and I join her for a few episodes of drama. But when I’m writing evidences up for my training, or doing some CPDs (continuing professional development), I often feel like I’m struggling alone. I don’t feel like I can talk to her about what worries me because I’m afraid she won’t understand because of our different attitudes towards life.
I’m not sure if you can tell from this post, but I’m scared about adulthood. I’m anxious because I’m not sure I have a definite goal that I’m working towards, and it’s time I take responsibilities over my own life.