shrouded in grey fumes.

this type of weather reminds me of why i didnt want to stay in this country. grey skies, blasts of cold wind in your face, drizzles that lasts forever and it’s just wet wherever you go. what happened to the beautiful days of summer. :( but if i go back to asia, the pharmacist back in asia basically just stays in the dispensary. i dont want that :(

i just hate long distance with all my freaking heart. period. it tests me/us in every freaking way. did i mention that the 7-hour (soon-to-be 8hours because of daylight saving) time difference is really really not helping. can anyone define relationship to me? what is a relationship when we dont talk, we dont know what is going on in each other’s lives (i dont even know what exactly does he dosince he started his new job last week, i dont know what company)? it’s not like we dont want to, but when i sleep he goes to work, when i wake up he’s working, when i finish work, he’s sleeping.

shit.

and living on this island isnt helping either.

and today after work i just wanted to get home as quickly as possible, because 1. we planned to talk since we didnt talk for 2weeks now, and 2. the weather is just really cold and crappy amd wet that i just want to go home. then i waited for the bus for so long and it didnt come. then i decided to walk home (it takes me 25-30mins to walk back). 5mins after i left the bus station, 3 buses zoomed past me one after the other. *facepalm

then when i got home, i went to shower cos my feet was cold and wet (really need to get water-proofed work shoes!). but by the time i got out, he had already fallen asleep. :( it’s not his fault, because i’m the one that came back late and stuff (it was already 1.20am at his place) and of course he’s tired from work too. but its just.. :(

i guess today is just not my day. i should just cook dinner and curl up in my bed and listen to the sounds of the rain and light music and just wither and crumble into nothingness.

maybe i suppress my feelings too much. because i seem to really like the feeling of light-headedness and dont-give-a-damn that comes when i drink alcohol.

or maybe its really just not my day today. i guess.

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